in re 12/25/2012

Hi everyone!

I know I missed posting yesterday and I'm sorry!! That evening and night I was basically immobilized with pain so I was staying in bed. I tried to post using my phone but for some reason I was not able to type on the phone.

Well: Christmas at the Rennies' went pretty well in terms of my health. I consumed about 200 calories more than usual but that just bumps it from 1200 to 1400, which is still reasonable for Christmas. I stayed away from the pecan pie and other things I know would make me feel sicker. I did have one, single solitary chocolate, and that may very well be why I was in so much pain later in the day... the pain was intense at one particular point in the abdomen and made it hard for me to walk without the assistance of Derek.

I also don't know what I should do for exercise here. It is extremely cold and rainy outside and there is no exercise stuff inside. Today I will try to do some body-resistance exercise work.

My goals for 2013 are:

1. Get to 150 pounds. I was 210 pounds in July and I am now at about 183. My healthy weight for my BMI is at about 158, so if I am at 150 I have some room should an emergency occur or I need a medication that causes me to gain a few pounds. The transformation in my body so far already feels great! I feel lighter and (when not in immobilizing pain) more agile.

2. Figure out my pain situation. So far I have been diagnosed with interstitial cystitis and irritable bowel syndrome, and my doctors think I may also have endometriosis. Seems like a lot of things to spring up all at once (the pain has been going on since October), but apparently it isn't uncommon for a flare in one problem to cause you to feel the other problems. In any case, it seems like I now have a chronic pain condition and I will need to treat it with changes in my diet and the right medication. Right now the medicine is tricky because the only things that make me feel less pain are narcotics, but I am not supposed to take them anymore because they can cause constipation. I also have OTHER pills that counteract the constipation... oh well I'm trying to follow dr's orders and lay off my Vicodin. I wasn't specifically forbidden to use my dilaudin in case of emergency, but it causes extremely violent and disturbing nightmares - really a different category of nightmare altogether that seems to be drawn from the place in the brain where my deepest fears are. So... I am still not sure how to manage my pain.

3. Get a real job! One with benefits and a salary, and one that suits my interests and will be a stepping stone into my career. My career advisor says I should make sure my pain is under control first and foremost, so that I know what to tell my interviewers. Still, this is an important priority!

4. Exercise six days a week. Exercising and weight loss should help me with pain if indeed it is chronic. Also it will balance my hormones and make me think more clearly, and boost my mood. Exercising is good for me, plain and simple, and I want a healthy body and mind.

5. If Possible: AIDS ride. I am registered to participate in the AIDS ride in June, and I was really really looking forward to it! I have been using the recumbent bike at the gym for my main source of exercise, and I enjoy it. Whether or not I can accomplish this ride in 2013 seems to depend on whether I achieve my other goals - can I manage my pain on such a ride? Will I be physically strong enough? Will I have the funds to buy a real recumbent bike and fly both it and myself to California? Will the job I have allow for such a break? These are factors I will try my best to pull together. If in spite of my best efforts I am too sick or not in the right place to make this ride in 2013 then I will definitely do so in 2014.

These are my goals! I will post as to whether I am getting closer to accomplishing them each day. Thank you for reading and commenting!