Interview Tomorrow!

Hi all,

So my big interview is tomorrow, 1/29/ at 2:30 in Washington DC. I am all set: I know what I will wear to get to DC and then change into for my interview. (I like to change on site in a bathroom... I developed this habit over the summer so there would be no sweat in clothes, but it also helps to avoid running around in heels). I have my money all tucked away, my schedule for getting there, and have researched the organization... so I feel good!

I discussed the interview with Mom and we agreed not to mention that I have a chronic illness that may cause me to need time off work. If I am hired, I will tell them this before it becomes an issue so they are not surprised... but saying so right in the interview might cut me off from a chance to prove myself.

I have been reading your very nice squat advice, but I still decided to ask a trainer if I was doing it right. Turns out, doing proper squats is extremely difficult for me! Oh well, practice will make perfect. I was able to do about half the motion that the trainer did with good form, which he said was better than squatting lower with poor form. Afterwards my thigh muscles were twitching like crazy and I had to sit down. Well, onwards and upwards!

I did all-over weight training including most of the weight machines I use, plus many free exercises. My core is my weakest area. I am trying to remedy this using planks, crunches, reverse crunches/leg lifts and bicycle crunches. I am not able to do real push-ups or pull-ups yet. I can plank for a little over thirty seconds. I used the elliptical to warm up and cool off.

Yesterday I didn't blog, but I did forty five minutes of elliptical and fifteen minutes of the recumbent bike. On the elliptical I have to be careful to make sure my heartrate doesn't soar too high. I hope as I get stronger, my heartrate won't jump so quickly.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Updated Photo Chart

Happy... I wish I had taken clearer shots for the first pictures, but I didn't want to at the time ;)

Good News and Potentially Great News

Hello,

Well it looks like I am 175.5 pounds now! That's very almost thirty five pounds gone. Whew! A lot of work went into that. I was rewarded with this number after walking to the gym in 18 degree weather and light snow. Worth it :) I did a good bike workout today and tomorrow is upper body strength.

In other news... I have a very exciting interview with the National Consumer's League on Tuesday in Washington, DC! I would be their Communications Associate / New Media Specialist. This is the job listing:

http://www.nclnet.org/about-ncl/employment/419-communications-associate-full-time

They say in the first paragraph that they need someone experienced with graphic design, but it looks like there is a lot of writing too. This is okay with me because I love to write!

Unfortunately... in my very excited haste, I did something stupid and I hope I didn't blow it. In a brief exchange between me and the person scheduling my interview, I once typed his name as "David" instead of "Daniel". This is something I will really have to avoid if I get this position! I pressed "Delete this Message" immediately afterwards and it was erased from my side, but I have no idea if it erased on his end.

Anyways... my interview isn't until Tuesday, so hopefully I can show up and impress him / whoever is conducting the interview and they will overlook this lapse. I am happy that I do have an interview!

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Inches Lost

Hi,

Yesterday at the gym, before my hour of cardio (bike and rower combined), I got my measurements taken. It turns out that i have lost four inches from my waist since September (the only other time I got measurements done), but only an inch and a half from my hips. I took this as good news in that I am going to be able to keep an hourglassy shape, and it helped explain why I am not fitting into lower sizes as quickly as I expected.

I am really into oatmeal now! It is so filling and delicious.

Today I am going to do some art! At least for the next four hours, it is art time. (Well, also lunch time and picking up clothes from laundry time...) Then, I am going to go to the gym.

Today is my "Lower Body and Core Workout" day, but I did a core set yesterday while waiting for Derek to pick me up from the gym. So, I am going to do a half hour (hopefully) of uphill walking on the treadmill in addition to the lower body strength exercises and squats. (Thanks Aunt Ruth for the tips on squats!)

I finally heard back from a human at a company where I applied to work... she said I'm not a good match. Still, good to know my applications aren't being sucked into a wormhole.

Sincerely,
Elizbaeth

1/22/13

I made it to the gym today in spite of not feeling well. All over strength training. I am going to switch from Quaker oatmeal to real oatmeal tomorrow so it is healthier... yep that's about all from today!

1/21/13

Hi.

I got my full hour of cardio in today, since I didn't do a very good job with it yesterday... so, tomorrow I will do my full body weight regime. And on Wednesday the chart will start again! :)

I applied to three more jobs today... Aunt Ruth, you are right, I am much happier when I have a job to do. I should do some art stuff as well.

My doctor has suggested that I retry taking a drug called Elmiron for my interstitial cystitis. This IC has been very frustrating lately, mimicking the symptoms of a bad UTI full time! Last time I tried Elmiron I had a lot of GI symptoms going on simultaneously, and the combo was ugly... but now that my IBS seems to be tempered down, I am going to try Elmiron again.

The thing about Elmiron is that it lists hair loss as one of the most common symptoms. I really love my hair and it is really long! If it fell out it would take years and years to grow back. I know Amy dealt with hair loss as part of her brave fight against breast cancer, and the responsible thing to do is to go ahead and deal with the disease instead of worrying about vanity. Still I am worried. :(

Also my prescription for Eluvil has been increased... still a very low dosage though. It comes with side effects of irritability and anger, which I have been feeling. I am normally not an angry person. I don't like to lash out at people. Hopefully if I take this (and the Elmiron) at the same exact time each day - the same time I take my BC - then the irritability fades.

Sigh. It sucks to be sick. At least I am getting thinner, and soon I will hopefully have a job.

Elizabeth

1/20/13

Hi!

Well today, I did go to the gym... unfortunately I only did about twenty minutes of cardio because I was just feeling spent. Usually if I make it to the gym I do better but today I wasn't feeling well at all and my interstitial cystitis was flaring.

The anti depressant I take for the IC has a side effect of making me irritated and angry. I am also out of it, and I need to go to RiteAID tomorrow and get my new ones - which are a stronger dose. I have always hated taking mood altering medications... just taking the birth control is already frustrating for me, but I do that every day because the alternative is MUCH WORSE. I will continue to take my IC medication for a few months but if the bad moods that come with it don't subside, I need to have a serious conversation with my doctor about whether the moods are worth the pain relief.

I ate heathy foods today... I really love oatmeal! It is very warming in the winter. Also we finished the delicious beet and carrot sauce that Derek made for me because I can't have tomatoes anymore. Yay!

That's my check in... have a great day

Elizabeth

1/19/13 and Yesterday

Hi!

Yesterday my friend Lizzi Sparks surprised me by being in town and offering to take me to dinner. I haven't seen her in a year! We ate a little bit more decadently than I would have chosen if I was home, but we also walked around for about three miles in Baltimore to get to a comic shop instead of taking the bus. I had a great time and felt good while I was with her, but I felt depressed while going to sleep. I think I am used to going to the gym every day now and when I don't, I feel like my day was too empty... I'm applying for jobs but don't have one yet, so if I don't make it to the gym I feel like I should have accomplished more.

I did go to the gym today! I was supposed to do "Upper Body Strength" yesterday, but I did it today instead, after warming up on the rowing machine. (There was a real rowing athlete on the machine while I was waiting to use it, so I was able to see what good form looked like...) Today I added five pounds to each machine from what I remember using last week. (I know i am supposed to keep track of this... before i was just playing it by feel every time I went to the gym, but from now on I will keep track and make sure I am pushing for heavier weights over time). I feel very sore now as a result, but also accomplished! For the free weights I was able to go from five pound to eight pound dungbells, and I am close to being able to use the ten pounders.

I am at about 178 pounds as of today. I only lost about a pound this week, which is below my average. I am surprised because I worked out MORE intensely this week than usual... but I know where I went wrong. Derek likes to have sweets in the house, and this time it was something I couldn't resist: cookies. It was bad both because it was high in calories, AND because they make me feel sick, but if they are right there in the house I have trouble resisting them at night. I feel like I was making the decision not to eat them several times per hour all day and just ran out of steam by nighttime. I explained which sweets I found hardest to resist, and now we will have a compromise where he gets sweets that I find less amazing :) Derek has been very supportive of my process and I know he will oblige.

That's all for now... I should get to sleep to let my arms recover. Have a great day!

Elizabeth

July to January Photo

This is the photo of me, Derek, and Derek's brother that originally prompted this weight loss. I was visiting Derek's family and grandparents over the fourth of July weekend, and I realized I was very embarrassed for people to see me the way that I was - no job, very overweight, not producing anything interesting, long roots in my hair, and just generally looking and feeling like a slob. Since then I have had an exciting work opportunity which unfortunately ended when I got sick, but I HAVE made strides in getting to be thinner and less of a slob :)

In the first picture I am over 210 pounds (I dieted for a few weeks before I had the courage to weigh myself), and now I am around 178 or 179 (haven't weighed in today). My hair is its natural color so I don't have roots. I am stronger and happier! And Derek, while he has always been  supportive and loving no matter WHAT I weigh, does like the changes too :)

Before and During:

Lower Body Workout

Today was my "Day 2" in the new workout schedule:

I did everything it said on the sheet, but I think I need to get someone to watch me do the lunges and squats to make sure my form is right. I focused on learning more of the lower body and abdominal machines, making sure I was really doing as much weight as I could for ten-twelve reps, and doing multiple sets. I can't afford to get a trainer to help me with the free form exercises, but the abdominal ones like crunches and planks I am confident I am doing well. Maybe I can find a video on squats :)

Before and after my strength training session, I filled out the rest of the hour with uphill walking. I did 10 incline and 3 miles per hour for five minutes on either end of the strength training. Somehow even though it was only a short time, this exercise seemed way harder and more painful than the bike and rower. I really struggle with the treadmill and always have. I  felt a searing, burning sensation in my chest. I don't feel this when I am walking, and I think maybe the treadmill psyches me out because I have fallen off of it before and I don't like feeling out of control of my pace (bc of the moving floor). I will try it again but maybe at a more moderate incline.

This evening I had very bad abdominal pains. They didn't feel like being sore (and I have experienced that plenty recently) - it felt stabbing and sharp. I'm not sure if it is because of the exercises or not. I'll have to keep an eye on that... it's possible that contracting and tightening my abdomen is not a good plan for now. the problem is, I don't know how long "for now" is going to become.

Generally I am feeling empowered by my revved up exercise. I figure, if I can perform rigorous exercise, I can go on job interviews and go to work.

More to come! Thanks for reading :)

Yesterday's Workout, Plan Going Forward

Hi!

I had a great day at the gym yesterday... twenty minutes of hard rowing followed by forty minutes of biking. This was a good step for me because I usually neglect to put in the FULL HOUR of exercise that I set out to do while I am at the gym, opting for forty or forty five minutes instead. After yesterday's workout I felt accomplished and happy, so I want to make getting a full hour in a priority now!

(I made a five hour long playlist called "2013 dopamine hits", and that helped me stick with the bike for as long as I did :)

I also want to give more priority to strength training going forward. Some of my muscle groups are much stronger than others and as a result I have, and have always had, poor posture and round shoulders. I have devised a six-day-per-week training schedule for myself that includes upper, lower, and mid strength training specifically.

Aunts Ruth and Berta - are there any exercises, especially non-machine exercises, that help you feel stronger and especially build posture? I am looking for more back and shoulder exercises to add to my upper body and full body days. Many of the machines do emphasize those areas but I want to combine machine and non machine workouts, so if I am traveling or something I have a strong set of body-weight exercises to do.

I also put forward what I think is a very strong job application to something I really want yesterday... not going to talk about it too much because I kind of want to stop thinking about it. I think the hour of hard work helped clear my head enough to write the cover letter.

Sincerely

Elizabeth

Introducing Rowing

Hi,

I had an adventurous day at the gym. I warmed up with my recumbent bike and then did two rounds across all the upper body weight machines, including the tricep curler, which baffled me in the past. (The handles did not make intuitive sense to me). I am still having a lot of trouble with shoulder exercises (especially the shoulder press), but I included those and made sure I did as many reps as I could with good form.

I then tried the rowing machines for the first time. I read about them on my phone and there was even a digital manual on the display of the rower.  I think I should mix the rowing machine in with the bike, maybe alternating back and forth to decrease bordom... the rower may even be better if we think the AIDS ride is financially unlikely this year. My upper body and core are WAY less strong than my lower body, so it makes sense to do a form of cardio that engages those parts too. What do you think? Have you used rowers? Is it too much upper body to do strength training and rowing on the same day? (I feel hella sore now).

Well, goodnight! I had a pretty relaxing day including a great workout. I will update again tomorrow!

1/11/13

Yippee! I am 179 pounds! This is as thin as I got in my last diet, and I am now one pound ahead of halfway :) In 20 pounds I will technically be a "healthy weight" according to the BMI scale, so that is amazing news too.

It was raining this afternoon... but I went to the gym anyways! With gym shoes (not sneakers), and my umbrella. I spent half the time doing cardio and half doing lower body strength training.

After I dropped Laura off at Penn Station in Baltimore, I did some walking around in Baltimore, including finding a bookstore that publishes comics by local artists. I showed the owner some of the work I did with Laura and he was impressed... I have to finnish what i started and then I can sell it!

Good day so far,

Sincerely

Elizabeth

1/10/13

Hi,

Today was a fun day. I ate mostly healthy foods and went for another good walk with my friend Laura. We also did some job searching and compared our search strategies. We spent a long time working on art, and I made the first page in a rough draft of a six page comic. Here it is:

I had some abdominal and urination pain today but I was able to cope and have a fun time with my friend. She is leaving tomorrow unfortunately.

1/9/13

Hi,

Today was a pretty good day. I am feeling sick right now but I can report quickly.

My friend Laura from Wash U got in last night and we hung out today. I still got in some exercise by suggesting we go for a walk. We went with Derek to see Le Mis with our sketchbooks so we could draw the characters. That was an assignment from school that we both enjoyed so we did it again. I also drew out a plan for a comic that I want to make.

I made squash and stuffed bell peppers for dinner and they were both delicious! I like feeding people.

I think that's about it for today... I am feeling pretty beat. Bye!

Elizabeth

Another Step in the Right Direction

Hello,

I took a small step today that I think will really pay off. Recently when I wanted to go to the gym, I would wait until Derek got home to take me even though it is within walking distance. I made this choice because I was afraid the illness-pain, which sometimes gets worse while I am exercising, would inhibit me from getting back home if I went myself. Also during the summer/early fall before it got cold and I got sick, when I would walk myself, I had some very scary experiences with men following me and saying disgusting things. The workers at the gym clock out at 8:00PM, and although it is still open after that, it is a low-population gym and I feel unsafe being alone or with only one or two men there. Sometimes Derek would get back later than that, like yesterday, and I wouldn't go to the gym even though I had intended to and gotten dressed for it.

Well today I decided to just go for it! The gym is less than a mile away. I stowed my ipod for the walk and stood up straight, looking alert so that I wouldn't seem like easy prey for disgusting men. I went at one o'clock in the afternoon so there would be more people walking and I was less likely to be isolated with just one other walker. I figured that if I did begin to suffer debilitating pain at the gym, I could worst case scenario take a cab back home.

But nothing bad happened at all! I did a ten minute warmup on the bike and then a very rigorous fourty minute long upper body work out. The shoulder press machine is still extremely hard for me to use even on it's lowest weight. The exercise did make the pain under my ribcage start up, but it wasn't so severe that it stopped me from kicking butt. Afterwards I walked right back up the hill and I did take one break on account of briefly stabbing pain, but afterwards I was fine.

Feeling good now! I am cooking a healthy meal for me, Derek, and my friend Laura from college. My arms and shoulders feel very sore from my muscles getting stronger.

Now I have no excuse not to hit the gym six times per week! Also, I am down to 180.5. This is a before and during shot of just my face... I feel like this is where I am seeing the most rewarding change. I have more bone structure and my features stand out more. My hair isn't really this red... I am just next to a bright lamp!

1/7/13

Hi,

Well I was in a better mood finally today. I really want a job soon! I need to be out and about doing things. Unfortunately today I was having abdominal pains again. I still intended to go to the gym but Derek didn't get back until very late so I wasn't able to. (I was fully dressed including sneakers... I know that doesn't burn calories but at least it shows intent!)

I did cook healthy things today that have a lot of leftovers, and none of it has any gluten. My main thing is a quinoa-based pasta which I made into a casserole with almond-based cheese and veggies. This isn't as delicious  as it would be if I made my previous version of macaroni casserole, but it is much better for me! In time I will learn to love the new flavors.

I spent a long time revamping my website, elizabethbeier.com. I also updated my resume... these are steps taken to getting a job in the near future. I still have to figure out the pain thing. When there's a will there's a way!

Thank you for all your nice comments :)

Jan 5, 2013

Hi,

Healthy foods purchased. I had another good day at the gym. I am feeling really down for some reason though. I think I need to just go to bed and sleep, but I am checking in now. Very intense mood swings have been accompanying me since I got sick. I think the best remedy is sleep.

Good night,
Elizabeth

Yay!

I went back to the gym today to exercise and weigh myself... boy was I nervous for the weigh in! I had been away from my gym the whole time I was at the Rennies' house, and they cooked me a lot of food (which was very nice of them, and I ate moderately). Christmas and New Years had come and gone and those are both trouble spots for me ... plus it was the end of the day and I had just eaten a big meal.

Yet low and behold... my weight has gone DOWN! The week before I left my weight was stuck between 185 and 183... now it is 181. I think it was my choice to moderate my eating throughout the visit and make sure that when I was celebrating, I didn't pile on too many calories. I am also watching what I eat for pain management purposes, so certain things like cheesecake and pizza were off the table for me for that reason. In fact when people around me were eating very rich foods like cheesecake or french onion dip, I actually felt nauseated instead of tempted.

I got in a great 45 minute uphill workout on the recumbent bike. My heart was really pumpin! I am feeling my endorphine high now. When I have a positive weigh in, it really motivates me to work hard. Soon I will finally be back in the 170s!

Two Thanksgivings ago when I came to Tip Top looking feeling and looking thinner than usual, I was around 180 pounds. I am happy that I have pretty much gotten back to the weight I was then, and my New Years Resolution is to get down to 150 ... so I'm about halfway done! I know this half will be harder in most ways, but I think this saying is true: "The hardest lift is your butt off the couch".

Tomorrow I am gonna hit the weights! I have a goal to do real, serious weight training three times per week for the next six months, in addition to three cardio sessions. I think that should get me to my goal and prepare me for beach season to boot.

Derek also said he would buy me a dress if I lost fourty pounds (meaning 170) by Valentine's Day. What do you think? That's eleven pounds in six weeks...  I am young and feeling ambitious so I think I can do it. I am starting my elimination diet now so that will help, along with rigorous exercise. Obviously I would love to power through my 170s faster than I did my 180s but I know each ten pounds is harder than the last. Perhaps we can have a St. Patrick's Day extension :)

Feelin' Good! It's amazing what exercise can do for mood... I was feeling so gloomy while writing yesterday's entry, but today I feel like I can conquer the world.

How it Went

Hello fine readers,

Well today was interesting. As you know I had many goals including getting up early, going to the gym, assembling a grocery list and buying food, doing the laundry, collecting my bills, cleaning the house. I accomplished some but not all of these goals.

I did in fact get up early and clean the house. I did six loads of laundry (On one hand I was happy to be getting so much done, on the other hand you should never put it off that long...), so now I have clean clothes, dish towels, sheets, bath towels, etc.  I went through my papers and found and assembled all my medical bills, which was one of my goals for today, and threw out all the trash. I did the dishes and tidied up, and I even found my bag of nail polishes that had been hiding amongst rubble in my closet.

One of the symptoms I have been experiencing has been fatigue in addition to pain. By the time I was done with all the cleaning, I was good and properly wiped out. I did not feel the need to go to sleep, and in fact I still can't seem to sleep at 2:00AM, but I felt the need to lie down. Today is one of my interstitial cystitis flare days when it burns ferociously to pee and then afterwards, the pain continues and I still feel like I have to go. This is very annoying.

I did decide to lie down but, instead of just watching TV like I had done the past few months while in pain, I continued to be productive. I re-designed my mom's "We're Moving" card, and she is very pleased with the results. You should be getting one soon! I researched "Wheat Belly" at Ruth's suggestion and made my grocery list. I also cooked some healthy rice with veggies to eat throughout the day.

I am disappointed in myself for not going to the gym. I think it would have been hard to even do my recumbent bike while I'm having the IC flare-up, since it hurts more to sit than to lie down. I am going to have to find a way around this. I also feel like there's something holding me back, some part of me that doesn't want to work hard and succeed, which only wants to curl up and stay online and in bed. I don't know if everyone has this insidious inner slothball or if it is related to my dregs of PTSD from years ago, when I was afraid to go into the world and become a grownup because I thought something else bad would happen.  I am having trouble sorting out when I am taking a break because my body is telling me I have to rest, vs when I am being lazy. Interstitial cystitis is a chronic issue, so I will need a long term solution to this conundrum.

Maybe I was also afraid to weigh myself? ... yeah that may be part of it.

Thank you for reading. I need to keep ramping my activity level back up until I have a full and healthy life, but right now it is still sputtering.

Happy New Year!

Hi,

Derek and I got back home last night. I am unabashedly having a very lazy day today as I enjoy being back after a very long and somewhat stressful visit to his family's home. It was about eleven days long in total and I was good about eating and stuff. Everyone was very nice to me but it is still so nice to be in my own home with my own bed and kitchen and boyfriend all to myself!

As such... I haven't accomplished very much today at all. I thus have a long list of goals for tomorrow:

1. Get Up Early
2. Clean all laundry
3. Go to the Gym and Weigh Myself to assess damage <-- not negotiable, and of course exercise
4. Make list of groceries in accordance to strict elimination diet, and go shopping when Derek comes home
5. Collect medical bills and take care of them.
6. Definitely report on this blog whether these necessary tasks are done.

I guess you can say I am a little late with starting my new year... January 3 will be my day one for 2013 goals. I may yet go to the gym today and I really should...

Sincerely,

Elizabeth