2/22/13 - SIZE TEN JEANS!

Hi! Yesterday I spontaneously decided to walk down to Target as part of my work out (it's only about two miles away, so I also did some lower body weights at the gym when I got back). While I was there, I tried on a size 10 jean - and it FIT! For the first time since I was fifteen or sixteen, the tens zipped up and buttoned. Now, I didn't get them because I need a job to spend money on things that aren't survival-needs... and they weren't exactly COMFY... but it was still sort of a trophie to put them on and dance around in the dressing room.

Applied to more jobs yesterday, going to be at it again today. It is still a discouraging process because I get so few responses. I got a weird phone interview where it LOOKED like I got a job, only to be told that they couldn't actually *pay* me for my work for a while. Gaaah! No, I will not work for free... I can do that on my own time and my own projects :(

I had a brief chat online with a man I used to work with at Equality California, just to give him a heads up that my application is on his way. He responded enthusiastically, rather than just saying, "Communications Director? That's WAY out of your skill zone!". ... that's a plus? The application deadline for that position was March 1, so maybe they are still gathering their applications before they decide who to write back to. Fingers crossed.

I realized something sort of scary yesterday. Which is: March is soon, and then comes April, and then May. I moved here to Derek's apartment in May 20, 2012. Since then, I had a job/paid internship for a few months which I had to give up when I became sick. I also got a job which I had to quit after a few days because I thought their practices were unethical. If I don't get another job by May... well, that's not much to show for the year. Yikes. Time really flies... I think I probably will get a job by May, but if for some reason I don't, I might have to start making some real changes. I don't know what that would look like, but I don't want to exist off of Derek's charity for more than a year. No, sir.

I have made SOME great changes this year: namely, to my health. Losing forty pounds is a big deal to me, and going to the gym consistently for eight months is a new thing! I have never been active for that long in a row. I have a network of doctors here since I was sick. I know which healthy foods I love and which unhealthy foods are the worst for me. I know that my adult life and responsibilities should and must include a job, and I am working towards that. But taking charge of my health this year is definitely a step that will lead to a happier adult life.