Fifty Pounds Lost! YAAAAAY

horrrayyyyyy!!!! ding ding ding ding!

I have such a feeling of happiness and accomplishment. Fifty pounds! An overweight suitcase load of pounds, checked off of my body never to be picked up. I can't even lift a fifty pound barbell, yet that is how much is gone from my body. I am such a happy jumping bean :)

Perhaps even more excitingly: I will be a healthy body weight according to the BMI in just one or two more pounds! Knowing that that's about a week away is sooooooo great! Now when I hear the statistic about how 2/3 of Americans are overweight or obese, I will be in the 1/3 and setting an example. Because, I was definitively in the "obese" category when I started... and then went alllllllll the way through the "overweight" category and will now be exiting that one too. And I just feel great.

I remember all the trials and struggles along the way... I am so glad I started, that must have been the hardest part. I was so sad and felt so out of control. I remember that the turning point was when I was taking an AMTRAC train to Derek's family's house to meet his paternal grandparents, and I realized I did not want to because I was 210 pounds (althoguh I didn't know that). Barely any of my clothes fit. My hair had long roots that I couldn't afford to fix because I had no income. My skin was greasy and full of zits. And then I arrived at the Rennie's household where everyone is fit and muscular and beautiful, and I just felt inadequate.. especially because Derek's grandpa's sense of humor entailed making fat jokes about me consistently. None of this SHOULD have crushed me... I know I deserve to be Derek's girlfriend based on my personality and our love connection... but, I was very miserable.

Now I feel just great! Even though my body isn't "perfect"... I feel that it's pretty damn good! And I am able to do so many more things than I could before, even though I now have debilitating pains some of the time. I am now in the "butterfly" stage of my transformation and very happy. When I meet people I feel pretty, which for better or for worse, makes a big difference.

The foods I crave now are sooooo different... right now, at this very moment, I crave hummus and garlic. No problem with that! I no longer crave cream cheese or dairy in general. If there was a box of Oreos in the house... I think I would have an okay time not eating them as long as I couldn't smell them. And believe me... that's a huge improvement from where I was before!

I am just so proud that I kept going and didn't give up along the way. I have been on this health-quest for almost a year now, since I started in July. That's longer than any "diet" I have ever been on, and I am so pleased because this is NOT a "diet"... it's a way of life!

those are my reflections so far... there might be more later...