Learning a Lesson

Hi!

First of all Aunt Roberta, thank you very much for the advice about protein powder. I skipped getting it. I eat a lot of egg, shrimp, quinoa (found a brand I like), and spinach. I also a moderate some salmon, nuts, and the cheeses that I'm not allergic to. Between these things I will be okay.

So, I had to withdraw myself from the gym competition today. The problem wasn't the exercise classes, which I really enjoyed and will probably keep going to. Rather, the problem was my partner. She seemed so nice when I first met her: she complimented my weight loss and we discussed how we used the gym machines. When we became teammates, she said she lived near me and offered to drive me to and from the classes. She is a fort ysix year old Chinese woman and there was a language barrier, but she seemed warm and friendly. I was happy to have made a friend, something I need to do more of.

 However as a part of a team, she was EXTREMELY over-competitive. She pushed me and tried to manipulate me into doing far more hours of weight lifting than is okay for me, day after day. When I said I needed to take a rest day once a week she said we "couldn't afford" it. She crossed the final line when she yelled at me for speaking to a member of another team who we shared a class with. She accused me fo sharing secrets "with the enemy". The same day she proposed that she supervise my grocery shopping to make sure I had enough energy to "keep up" my end of the team. I was very taken aback by her dark competitive side, and at first I thought it might be a language barrier issue. However I decided yesterday that it doesn't matter why she acts this way, I cannot keep putting up with it through June.

Mom suggested that I talk to her at the gym in the presence of a third party who WORKED at the gym. I took that advice. The gym staffperson even said she could continue in the competition if she met another partner. When I explained the situation to the staff person, we were both feeling nervous and anticipated a huge blow up - she had come close to yelling at me for such minor things before. But the minute she saw me at the gym in my normal clothes, she knew what I was going to say. The conversation went much better than I had thought. Instead of yelling at me, she thanked me for working as hard as I did and we both acknowledged that we weren't compatible partners. She then went to the front desk to see if she could find a new partner, and I left to take a well-earned rest day.

I feel so much better now. During the five days when we had been partners and it wasn't going as I thought, I was bloated, 3 pounds heavier, constipated, and both fatigued and unable to sleep. I was also grouchy. Now that I am through and everything has gone back to normal - including the weight - I realize how bad it really was. I have made similar mistakes before in choosing who to spend time with. I seem to be drawn to people who are at least a little bit crazy or unusual... people who are too normal bore me. But I draw the line at manipulation and unreasonable demands from someone I barely know. Next time I will cut that situation off earlier.

Although it was my rest day, I did a bit of walking around outside. I walked to and from the gym which is about .8 miles away, and when I got back, there was a strikingly large bird in a tree by my house. The squirrels in the tree were yowling at it in a way I didn't know squirrels could yowl. I followed it from tree to rooftop to tree, observing it and taking pictures for over an hour. Dad says from the photos it was probably a peregrine falcon. It was very beautiful and majestic, especially when it flew around, and it was interesting to see how the other animals reacted (mainly with fear and loathing). This happy, meditative time outside was just what I needed today.

One good thing about trying the competition is that I got to experience many classes, and got to know some of the instructors. I think the weightlifting class called "Body Pump" is probably the most effective way for me to build strength in my arms, chest, glutes, and other major muscle groups. It is an hour long class using a barbell, freeweights, and disc weigths - it's easy to choose which weights are most appropriate. For the exercises where I am not clear on form, the instructors are happy to tell me after class for free. There is also a half hour long class that focuses on core strength, and although that one KILLS me and makes me very sore, I think it would be a good idea for me to go. So, I will make sure to take both of those classes at least once per week. The biking class really gets my heart rate up, so it's probably a good idea to take that sometimes too - I was surprised to find it didn't hurt my bladder. There is also a yoga/pilates class called "Body Flow" that emphasizes both strength and balance. Between those, longer walks outside, and some time on the elliptical, I have a diverse and exciting exercise plan for the next while. I am rested from today and ready to move on in search of better health!

4/27 CheckIN

Hi!

I haven't written in a while. This week, my gym started a competition that goes until June 1 and is called "Mission 42". The object of the contest is to form a team with one partner, and sign in for the most classes to earn points. The classes go with my gym membership. I have a parnter named Chen so I have been going to lots of classes and trying different things. I even have been using a barbell for squats and deadlifts. The core work is still the hardest for me.

Meanwhile, I have continued to eat very well. However, I am taking in more calories since I am monitoring how many I expend at the gym classes... and it's a lot! I'm trying to net about the same. Yet, my weight is doing funny things that I'm not crazy about... according to my lovely scale, I have gained three pounds or so since Wednesday. However, I think it may be because I am very constipated... and, I have remedies at home for that. So, I took my remedies today.

For an intense few weeks of gym classes, do you think there are any changes I need to make? More protein? Do you drink the protein shakes that are available at sports stores? I know I have to drink more water... I am doing that!

that's mostly it folks... Hope you are having a great weekend!

Elizabeth

4/22/13

Hi all,

First of all: I have taken Aunt Roberta's advice and not had a sip of the rum in the fridge. Only drinking water and the fresh veggie juices I make. So, that's a small win for me.

My weight has been at about 163.6 for a few days... lower than it's been in a long time.

Yesterday, and the day before, I went on a 1.5 hour long walk. I chose that form of exercise because my arms and core were still sore from my workout on Friday, and because it was really beautiful outside. I am learning more about the paths and roads around my apartment. I wear the HR monitor at all times to make sure my walk is fast enough. Going uphill really makes a difference! Sometimes if I really feel like it I jog on the downhills to prevent my HR from going too low. But, I really must be careful about that because too much impact causes tears in my bladder lining. Which leads to burning pains and the need to pee every time I drink a sip of water...

There's a competition in my gym to see who can go to the most classes in the next 42 days. Because I am a gym member, these classes are free to me. So, I will partake in the challenge! I think I stand a great chance to win because I work from home and have a flexible schedule. Today I was thinking about trying a bike class to see if my bladder can handle a normal bike now that I am doing better, or not.

That's all for now folks...

Elizabeth

4/20/13

Hi!

First of all.. very glad that the terrorist was caught! My friend Anna was in the lock-down area waiting for the police to come search her house. I am so glad she doesn't have to stay there all weekend.

Now then :) I had my second session with Josh yesterday, in which we did interval training on the rowing machine, abdominal and leg training, and finally pullups on the weighted machine. I was able to do twice as many weighted pullups today! (The weights HELP me get my chin up... I am yet to be able to do a real pullup by myself).

Feeling somewhat sore today. Between my first two sessions, I was really sore the whole time. Looks like this time is milder. I definitely feel that I am learning new things, and wearing my heart rate monitor during the session proved that it gets my HR to the max. And, burns lots of calories!

Going to go grocery shopping today. That's where my diet decisions are mostly made, so I will be careful and thoughtful in my choices. I am going to cook the quinoa that we have before I leave too see if that's a good quinoa. I need to make sure I am still getting complete proteins and greens every day.

I made a beet and carrot and apple juice... I call it "beatlejuice". I am less fond of this juice than my other ideas, even though it is a GORGEOUS blood red color. I will finish it up though, it's healthy! I ate the pulp with a rice pasta. I really like brown rice pasta, the brand I found has a good firm texture.

I am also drinking almond milk instead of cows milk. It has more calcium and it's DELICIOUS! I usually try to avoid animal dairy except for limited cheddar or parm cheese. Meanwhile I also cannot eat soy, so almond substitutes are the best for me. Sometimes I also use almond cheese, but it doesn't taste nearly as good and is more expensive. Meanwhile, low-fat cheeses don't seem to upset my bowels.

I am experiencing fewer cravings! Derek brought a pack of eight sugar cookies home earlier this week, and I really didn't want to eat any of them. I didn't. Last night he brought home a bottle of rum to drink with other drinks, and that was a little harder to pass up. But, I really shouldn't drink alcohol - it would inflame both my IC and IBS. So, I didn't have that either. I am suspecting that the WHEAT FREE diet is working! I have been 100% wheat free for two weeks and I think that's why I have fewer cravings, and fewer stomach aches.

Whoo hoo!

Elizabeth

4/17/13

Hi,

Just a short update for today because I am sleepy. I was, indeed, extremely sore from yesterday's intense weight training workout. It even hurt my triceps when I flushed the toilet, not to mentioned my quads screaming every time I stood up or sat down. Still, I managed to go for an hour long walk, keeping an eye on my HR moniter to make sure I was between 65 and 80 percent of my max. I also made a delicious "ice cream" out of a frozen banana, honey, organic peanut butter and vanilla extract whizzed together in the blender. So overall, props for today!

Elizabeth

Good News in a Sad Time

Hi,

I have some great news progress-wise, but I also want to acknowledge what happened in Boston. I feel extremely saddened and angry about the fact that such great athletes and their supporters, who should have felt so proud and happy, were instead subject to a terror attack. I also will admit to feeling frightened, because I am an American too and I feel under attack. But, I know that the best way to fight back is to support those I know in Boston and continue my business as usual. Holding my head high. I am glad I have Derek here with me, although he responds to events like this in a very different way than me and doesn't like to talk about them. We had a bit of a scuffle about that yesterday, but after about half an hour of thinking I realized that he did care, he just processes it in a different way. And he undoubtedly cares about me and loves me, and is kind to everyone - that's what's importnat.

Okay... back to my news. Yesterday, I had a three month checkin with my doctor. He is very impressed with my weight loss and strengthening, saying I am a rare patient to take that step. He says my strategy of healing through food, water, vitamins, sleep, and exercise is obviously working, and that I am seeing results similar to those who use drugs. That is great to hear! i really am healing my entire body.

Also: I had my first personal training session this morning with a trainer named Josh. I chose him because he has always been helpful when I needed to know how to do an exercise, even before I had money to pay him to help. He seemed genuinely interested in motivating me and always congratulated me when, after a period, he saw me and I had lost more weight. Also, he has irritable bowel syndrom too, so he understands the difference between healthy exercise soreness and true abdominal distress. He has also recently lost seventy pounds, so he knows about the journey I am going through. Somehow that seems like a bonus... he was not born inherently strong and fit, he earned it just like us!

Anyways, that half hour of exercise may have been the toughest in my life! There were weighted jumping jacks, burpees, tire lifts, tricep tips, weighted squts... and more, one right after the other. My entire body was worked out without once using a machine (I can do those on my own time). He says and I believe that I will be very sore today and tomorrow! I did my very best and was more successful in some exercises than others. I was surprised to find that the arm exercises were the easiest for me, since I have been exercising those muscles regularly. Arms used to be my weakness! The core exercises were the hardest for me.

Oh! I did use one machine at the end. It was the weighted pull up machine. You step onto a bar and pull yourself up, and there is a weight inside the machine which seems to help. I used the interior handles, which are supposed to be a little easier. I was able to do two pullups on the easiest setting, which surprised both me and my trainer. He says that even with the help the machine gives, many of his clients cannot do any pull ups at all at first. I admit that i was sort of terrified of stepping onto the machine because I thought i would fall. I'm sort of afraid of heights, even a foot and a half off the ground. It's an entirely mental thing, but my entire body was shaking. That is definitely something I plan to work on regularly, because he says the machine is ideal to measure my progress.

On the way home from the gym, I felt extremely alert and attuned to my surroundings. I didn't listen to music, but rather listened to the bird chirps and hums of the neighborhood. It is early spring and there was some rain yesterday so everything truly is bright and clear, but it seemed especially so after my exercise. It was definitely a sort of high, feeling peaceful but also extra in tune with the nature around me. I dig it!

Elizabeth

4/12/13

I have an interview this morning! That's exciting!

You're right... I haven't been posting for a few days. Things are basically fine, although I am having flares from my interstitial cystitis problem. Very nasty burning feelings. I called my dr and he said it's probably just a week-before-my-period thing. I wish I didn't have a high chance of an uncomfortable week the week before my period AND the week OF my period... that's half the month! I have an appointment with him on Monday, so that's good.

In case you were wondering weather or not I ate the Cheezits or any other gluten since the cookies this Saturday, the answer is.... NO! No gluten at all. I have, however, eaten some sweets. I will be knocking this off soon... I just miss gluten sooooooo much! I have stopped eating sweets before full stop and been fine with that, I didn't really even have withdrawal. The wheat withdrawal is definitely with me these past week. I feel very tired and drained and moody and grouchy. Better this morning though! I have to snap out of those feelings for my interview.

I think my body is feeling deprived. I hope it ends after I go off the gluten for another week and ween myself off the sweets I compulsively, inexorably bought at the store on Tuesday (and have now thrown away). They were toffees. F***** delicious. But, none of those ingredients were a good idea.

Doing my exercise at home last few days because of the IC pain. When it's flaring, moving around a whole lot makes it worse. This morning it is more mellow so I am hoping to do some more intese exercise today or tomorrow. I do like exercise. I also have to do the laundry this weekend... isn't it funny how much easier it is to get out the door when you have all you options cleanly lined up in a row? This weekend I might also get some new workout attire because my old pants have been threatening to fall down <-- a GOOD problem to have at any rate :D

I have been enjoying my juicer. My first attempt at "pulp crackers" did not work out per se... oh well, I will try again or do something else with it! I want to get the fiber from my veggies, but something about being able to drink down all the nutrients in a whole bag of spinach really appeals to me. It feels like a powerful health shot!

My weight is hovering in the mid 160s, 164/165. Which is... still pretty exciting! My face looks really different than it did before! (Also now I have my natural hair color.)

So... that's something to celebrate.

PS... it occurs to me that we are all starting to look more and more alike, me, Roberta, and Ruth. Now that I'm getting thinner too and have the dark hair/ light eyes combo the Beiers have. That's the way it grows out of my head! My hair is another part of me which is happy to tell me it is WAY healthier now that I am getting my vitamins and protein, and not dying it every few months. :D

4/9/13

I am having such intense gluten cravings!!! There are Cheezitz in the pantry because Derek's family likes them and they were here, and I forgot to ask them to take it with. Derek wants to keep them because he likes them too. I haven't eaten any, which is an accomplishment, but I really want them :( Looking forward to the time when the cravings diminish.

Got some exercise in yesterday... weight training. Time for some more cardio today since my IC flare is over. Not jogging/running though! That really caused discomfort, unfortunately.

That's all I have to say for now... may blog again tonight.

4/6/13- Rennie's visit and Today

Hi,

So the Rennies visited all of yesterday. We had a fun time catching up. Everything I made was GF... except for the cookies. I only ate two small cookies and asked them to take all the leftover ones home... anyways, next time I will try to make a GF treat or no treat at all.

I don't have a stomach ache today, but I do feel intense burning while peeing (one of my IC symptoms) and the feeling is lasting all day even when I am just sitting or lying down. I actually think it is probably because I experimented with some jogging yesterday... Derek's siblings and I went on a trail through the woods and they wanted to jog for part of it, and it looked like so much fun that I wanted to also. My dr. had warned that jogging and running can cause inflamation and then infection with people in my condition. I guess, I thought because I was jogging so slowly for only one minute jogging/two minutes walking, I would be fine. Blah. Either way I got to the state I am now, I want to avoid in the future. It feels awful! Onwards and upwards.

Derek got me a juicer! I made a delicious juice out of celery, apple, cucumber and carrot. I am going to make crackers out of the pulp part tonight. Healthy all around!

Elizabeth

4/5/13

Hi!

Well, I am suddenly expecting company! Derek's mom called early this morning to announce that all five Rennies (parents + 3 siblings) are coming over tomorrow morning. We will be seven in all in a very small apartment.

I got lots of exercise today cleaning the house! It's nice to see it clean. I also bought food for the guests who might not want to adhere to my gluten-free, sugar-free regimen. I also made cookies but I didn't eat one... although I might have had a tiny bit of the dough. I expect they will be gone by the end of the day and, if not, I will give them to the Rennies to keep.

I also cut my hair! I was stressing about needing to clean the whole house in one day, let alone entertaining for the weekend. I had to go to Target to get Windex anyways, so I got my bangs cut and my hair re-dyed to it's natural color. (I did dye it my natural color in November, but it seemed to be fading). I feel pretty and happy!

Still got to work on that self control... at some point I know I should be able to make cookies but NOT have any of the dough. Aunts: do you still make cookies when you are a guest?

I also think tomorrow with all seven of us might be a "special occasion"... not sure... I won't go crazy with the cookies because that would make me sick, but if I eat one it's not the end of the world. The Rennies like to exercise so we will probably go to the park and walk around.

That's all for today!

Elizabeth

4-4-13: A Happy Day!

hi!

I had a very nice cardio session at the gym today, very enjoyable. I am able to use the elliptical with a higher resistance than I used to, actually, twice the resistance. I feel fresh and invigorated. I also talked to the trainer who I am considering working with. He also has irritable bowel syndrome, and I think that will be helpful. I will need someone who will believe me when I say something hurts, not in a positive muscles-getting-stronger-way, but in a intestines-spasming-violently way.

I have been 100% wheat free for four days, and I am feeling better indeed. Less abdominal pain, although I still have some pain from my interstitial cystitis. I don't know yet whether my reduced abdominal pain is REALLY because of the wheat, since the pain goes up and down, but in a few weeks I will know. I am experiencing a lot of cravings and may be eating more sugar than is wise. The past few days since Easter, I ate some small servings of white chocolate sometimes because I cannot have any other kind of chocolate. People on diets are always talking about how chocolate is an okay treat. However, I looked this up online, and it said white chocolate is NOT like other chocolates... it really has no nutritional value whatsoever. Drats!

I think it makes sense, now that I am eliminating wheat, to eliminate even small servings of sugar-based junk foods. I know they are doing nothing for me and do hurt me, even in the small sizes I can easily fit into my daily calories. I am currently experiencing my refreshed feeling from the gym but it is dampened because I have a sore throat from the small piece of white chocolate. I bet I would feel even more amazing if I cut those treats if it wasn't a special occasion, like Roberta.

I am still getting used to thinking of food as feul, not enjoyment. I know if others can do it, I can do it too! I know I am making enormous progress. Hell, before this endeavor I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with cream cheese cravings so strong I would blither into the fridge. I would scoop the full fat cream cheese onto a bread, bagel, tortilla, ANYTHING and eat the whole container of it. I know that's gross, but it is an example of the way I let my cravings control me in the past. I am not perfect yet, nor will I ever be perfect, but I am doing pretty well!

My weight this morning was 164.5. It is so exciting to see that number! I'm pretty sure the lightest I ever got during my high school workouts was about 165. Before that going back to early puberty, and after that until now, I have always been heavier than 165 - culminating in being 210 in July 2012. During my high school diet, the only exercise I was doing was running - no resistance training, no upper body or torso or back muscle. So, as I continue, I will be seeing my body in a way it has never been in my life. I have never been a fit adult. I am only about 6.5 pounds away from being a healthy BMI! that is so exciting and will help propel me to stick with a wheat free diet, and ditch sugar traps as well.

Elizaebth

4/2/13

Hi,

I am still in abdominal pain. Still wheat free... I didn't want to walk to the gym today because of the pain, but I have been doing some at-home exercises throughout the day. I know it is important to exercise regularly!

I really enjoy hummus... tastes great with carrots, and those together make a favorite snack.

Have a great day!

Elizabeth

4/1/13

Okay, so: I am checking in, even though I didn't do great today.

I ate pretty well today, all healthy things. I intended to work through the day and have Derek take me to the gym at night, but now I have severe cramps. I was totally gluten free today and yesterday, and now my cramps are not only in my stomach but also in my left foot. Aunt Roberta: how did you get through the foot cramp? Did it just go away on its own?

I am experiencing a lot of sugar cravings... but, since I didn't have sugary snacks in the house, I was able to not succumb. I am still feeling lethargic. I think I will go to bed early today and then go to the gym EARLY tomorrow, before my aches and pains have time to add up.

Last night, I was experiencing the worst abdominal pain I have had in weeks. I had to take my narcotic meds because it was unbearable. I do tend to feel more lethargic on days after I take Vicodin... that's probably another factor.

Mea culpa...

Elizabeth

LATER SAME NIGHT UPDADE:

Once again, I am in acute pain. Feels like screwdriver twisting under left ribcage. Ow. I thought this might happen as I transition into 100% wheat free life because my body is so sensitive to changes. Hope these symptoms go away soon, and don't crop up while I am on the elliptical or something.