6/9/13: My first 5K and Other Epic Plans

Hi All!

I am really enjoying getting into running. Yesterday I was able to run about 3/4 of the three mile track I found for myself around the neighborhood. I even ran up some hills and did some speed work in there! My heart is definitely getting stronger fast because I can run for longer stretches and my HR goes down faster now.

So... I registered for my first 5K race! It's on June 23 and it benefits cancer research (gynecological cancers specifically). Some people will be running, some walking, I will be doing some of both. I just want to see how it feels to participate in an athletic event again.

I am continuing to eat healthy foods. Now that I have cut wheat out of my diet for a few months (except for when celebrating Amy's graduation... I did partake in some bread and cake there...) I feel that I crave food, in general, less. It took a while for that side benefit to kick into gear for me... but now it's here! I actually have to remind myself when it's time to eat. (Or am reminded by my growly tummy). This is a huge shift from when I looked forward to eating and planned my eating adventures every moment that I wasn't stuffing my face (ala last year).

My torso is looking particularly trim and slim these days. I have found some clothes that look really flattering on me and I feel great! Derek says I look like Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer now, and although this is clearly untrue, I was flattered.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj6IzYP9oVP4OzkJOHujNnZ-loJgMoSOuL2Rii9-mlHIuIRDu0uxUNVIG1AGcQ2zG83ZuodoyA3X1u1gn1NrqbUau7JDcWdyc5Oi9rV5_Um2G6567VHXdtC2CVi8_2LPBp1yweFjVDw4_6/s1600/Faye_dushku01.jpg

I have some plans that I'd like to discuss here. I think I may have mentioned before that I wanted to move to California in November - and spend the intervening time working for Uncle George, learning web design, and saving my money. I have been living here with Derek for a year and there are a few good reasons to move to CA:
1. I love my family and friends there
2. there will be far more opportunities for the kind of career path I want to have
3. I love CA as a physical place, and it's the main place I can envision buying a home and taking root.

Thing is... Derek really doesn't want to move to California this year. He is in a great position at his work right now and he likes being close to his siblings. He says he might be able to move to CA in a few years, but not right now.

I pondered this and tried to figure out a way we could stay in the same city. I considered maybe moving closer to the Washington DC area - there would be more opportunities for me that way. We went to Silver Spring, MD today - someplace where I could commute to DC easily, but he could keep his job. Neither of us liked it there. And the drive turned out to be longer than it said on Google Maps. On the way home we decided together that the best thing for him was to stay where he is now - but for me to move to CA. We definitely want to stay together, but date long distance. When I really, fully realized that that was what was best into us, I cried very hard. I have been feeling like our relationship is headed towards marriage, but then I was planning moving to CA - which seemed to be pulling a 180 on that plan.

Now I realize this: I think this time apart may strengthen our relationship. We have dated long distance before and I know where the hard parts come up with that. However I believe if we are going to consider marriage, it will be best to do so when we are both financially independent of each other and our stuff isn't intermingled. We will be able to make a more objective decision. We also have some other choices to make about our lives before making a permanent commitment - where to live, whether and when to have children, how much we value travel, whether or not he decides to be religious, and others. By pursuing our lives more independently, we may be able to get a better sense of where we stand on those issues - where our boundaries really are. We will still communicate every day and hopefully use the time when we live apart to clear those hurtles one by one. Then we will reunite in a few years, hopefully forever. That is my new romantic vision. I understand that I am twenty three years old and I am not guaranteed this happy ending. But I know that Derek and I love each other very much. He understands and agrees that CA is where my opportunities shine brightest right now and wants me to go there and be happy.

I feel like since I originally decided I wanted to move to CA in November and thus needed to prepare, I have been more productive all around. I exercise more, work more hours for Uncle George, and have picked up web design studies. I feel a drive when I wake up in the morning and excitement about the future. So I know it's the right thing. Derek's very kind and encouraging response to my suggestion that we live long distance, so that I can grow in my own goals, confirms that he is the wonderful man that I know he is.